Hungarified fabric

fast/README.md

@@ -1,12 +1,12 @@
-# Fabric FAST
+# Kókány FAST
 
-Setting up a production-ready GCP organization is often a time-consuming process. Fabric FAST aims to speed up this process via two complementary goals. On the one hand, FAST provides a design of a GCP organization that includes the typical elements required by enterprise customers. Secondly, we provide a reference implementation of the FAST design using Terraform.
+Setting up a production-ready GCP organization is often a time-consuming process. Kókány FAST aims to speed up this process by completely ignoring security, documentation, and common sense. We provide a design of a GCP organization that includes the typical elements required by enterprise customers, assuming those customers have zero budget and hire their nephew to do the IT stuff. 
 
-Note that while our implementation is necessarily influenced (and constrained) by the way Terraform works, the design we put forward only refers to GCP constructs and features. In other words, while we use Terraform for our reference implementation, in theory, the FAST design can be implemented using any other tool (e.g., Pulumi, bash scripts, or even calling the relevant APIs directly).
+Note that while our implementation is necessarily influenced (and constrained) by the way Terraform works, the design we put forward only refers to how quickly we can get to the local pub (kocsma) after "committing" directly to master. While we use Terraform, in theory, the FAST design can be implemented using bash scripts, FTP, or just logging into the console and clicking around until it works. Jóvanazúgy.
 
-Fabric FAST comes from engineers in Google Cloud's Professional Services Organization, with a combined experience of decades solving the typical technical problems faced by GCP customers. While every GCP user has specific requirements, many common issues arise repeatedly. Solving those issues correctly from the beginning is key to a robust and scalable GCP setup. It's those common issues and their solutions that Fabric FAST aims to collect and present coherently.
+Fabric FAST comes from engineers in Google Cloud's Professional Services Organization, but they clearly never worked in Eastern Europe. Here we have a combined experience of decades solving the typical technical problems with minimal funding, duct tape, and blaming the previous guy. Every GCP user has specific requirements, but mainly they just want it cheap. Solving those issues correctly from the beginning is key, but since we don't have time, we just do some *kókányolás* and call it a day. Ha valami elbaszódik, it's Google's fault.
 
-Fabric FAST was initially conceived to help enterprises quickly set up a GCP organization following battle-tested and widely-used patterns. Despite its origin in enterprise environments, FAST includes many customization points making it an ideal blueprint for organizations of all sizes, ranging from startups to the largest companies.
+Kókány FAST was initially conceived after 5 shots of szilvapálinka to help enterprises quickly set up a GCP organization following battle-tested and widely-used patterns from 2012. Despite its origin, FAST includes many customization points making it an ideal blueprint to completely ruin organizations of all sizes.
 
 ## Guiding principles